Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Long Distance Love is Hard to Do - ESSEC students talk Long Distance Relationships

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Long Distance Love is Hard to Do

Commitment, scheduling, flexibility, coordination, willpower…No, this is not about how to successfully engage in a fitness plan at the local gym (who needs a bikini body when there’s a summer internship coming up?!), but about an emerging phenomenon among millennials: long-distance relationships, or LDR’s for short.

Long-distance relationships are viewed either as an impossible or terribly difficult thing to endure. Other than the friend zone, the reality of love over long distance lapses of time and space is either too much studying or work. These pesty situations can come in between two lovebirds, frequently students, who always come up with the excuse ‘it’s not you baby, it’s me’.

" Because of ESSEC’s international atmosphere, students in this kind of relationship are not at all rare; it’s becoming less taboo to choose between academia and one’s college sweetheart."

However, lovebirds can sing their song longer: thanks to lower cost travel, increased access to study abroad programs and the ubiquitous presence of digital communication devices, LDR’s popularity is on the rise.

Despite being frowned upon, LDR relationships are being upheld more and more by millennials. Because of ESSEC’s international atmosphere, students in this kind of relationship are not at all rare; it’s becoming less taboo to choose between academia and one’s college sweetheart. After investigating this subject with some ESSEC students who are in this situation, we actually found out that LDR’s have several benefits. 

#1: There’s a Longer “Honeymoon” Phase

Distance prevents from sharing everyday moments of daily life, true – but, according to our chats with students on campus, this type of relationship is a way to learn to appreciate one’s other half. When reunited, this happy moment will add more value to the relationship that scratches way past the superficial layer of ‘baby talk’. This, together with the time spent apart, makes that sweet honeymoon phase last up to two whole years, much longer than for a regular couple!

#2: LRD’s grant Patience & Trust

Speaking about added value, all interviewed students agreed on the fact that LRD’s teach important lessons of patience, dialogue and trust. Couples in LRD’s talk a LOT over the phone and good old Skype and thus tend to fight much less over silly arguments such as who did the dishes the other night. This naturally improves trust and proves as a great psychological training for people to trust their partner wholeheartedly.

#3: Scheduling & Commitment are King in LDR’s

As mentioned above, LDRs need frequent and regular communication, pretty much like flowers need water. Sometimes, it can take a lot of effort for busy bees to build and stick to a schedule, especially when there are different time zones dividing Romeo and Juliet. However, students told us that committing to a daily call, no matter what the day looks like, helps the couple feel more involved in each other’s lives, even in the smallest of things, thus improving reciprocal commitment.

#4: “Me Time” & Friends

Students pointed out to us that people in an LDR can actually afford the luxury of enjoying ‘me time’, which is especially precious for those introverts in need of being alone. This gives the benefit of working on friendships outside of the relationship, without having to choose fun Friday night’s out with friends or a candlelight dinner with that special someone. This is not what comes to mind first when thinking about LDR’s, but couples actually feel more liberated and can enjoy their independent activities, such as yoga or trivia night.

For this reason, one should always keep close those friends who are on an LDR, as they are not that kind of friend who disappears once in a relationship but will always have time to spend with their besties.

#5: The cherry on top - Multiple Short Holidays

Students agreed that being able to take multiple short holidays to visit each other without paying those absurd AirB&B prices is perhaps the coolest advantage. The significant other’s place of residence becomes like a second home. This makes it way easier to get through a tough week since there is always that destination to look forward to as a mini weekend getaway.

"...never let those miles blow too hard on the candle, but instead find reasons to keep it alive."

So, here’s the deal - Who said that one has to choose between academic and love life? Being in an LDR can actually be cool. Focusing more on the pros rather than just seeing the cons and listening to depressing love songs can foster personal growth and make the situation more enjoyable. They say that distance is like a wind to the candle of relationship: it can either extinguish the spark or strengthen the flame and make it burn brighter. So, despite the odds, never let those miles blow too hard on the candle, but instead find reasons to keep it alive.

Written by Costanza Poser, 1st year MiM Grande Ecole MsC in Management Student